writing with kayla

writing through modern wounds

  • scary story prompt #1

    Three months after she vanished, they found her alive and unharmed, surviving on scraps in a place no one had thought to look. The doctors called it a miracle. We should have been celebrating. Instead, as the days passed, a quiet dread settled over our family. We got her back, but something had changed. She no longer…

  • Journal prompt #1 –

    What is a wound you’ve been carrying in silence? What would it look like to release the weight of it and choose peace instead?

    Is there a limit on how long this post can be?? Personally, it feels like I’ve all of the feels/wounds within, just pulling at my heartstrings. The future, the past, the present, did I do too much or not enough? How can I change my life faster? How can I get out of my current situation?

    We can tell ourselves that we are looking out for ourselves but that doesn’t mean that we are able to fully free ourselves of all of the crap that might be weighing us down. It’s strange how there can be a huge disconnect between what we might be feeling and what we might be telling ourselves. We might even be able to pull ourselves from our mental anguish but then find ourselves down another black hole without even realizing it.

    That’s why I really guard against toxic positivity and the dangerous belief that we have to “happy all of the time.” I hope that I’m not down all of the time but I absolutely despise the expectation that we are in a positive state all of time. I know that’s why its easy to create a separation between how we feel and what we think – because we aren’t always allowed to “safely feel the feels.”

    Journal prompts are vital for anyone who suddenly feels down without fully knowing why (or even knowing why). They allow us to pull our twisted/cluttered thoughts out of our mind and to see them for what they really are: not always an accurate representation of how we truly feel.

    I hope that you are able to release an unexpected wound that you might be carrying and that you feel safe to truly explore your inner thoughts.

    xoxo

    Kayla

  • Inspirational aesthetic #2: Romantasy Tavern Girl

    Good Morning Lovelies!!

    I hope your week isn’t too hectic! I’ve been a bit stressed with many meetings/deadlines/remember this/do that/go here.

    My overthinking mind is quick to replay every possible outcome and its tough to remain focused on what I have to do when all I can obsess over is how little time there seems to be. I love listening to a good romantasy duing stressful times (I’m currently listening to A Soul of Ash and Blood by Jennifer L. Armentrout – I just disappear into those books!!).

    I came up with a fun but approachable aesthetic: “Romantasy Tavern Girl.” All of these pieces can brought a regular store and are romantic pieces that just bring a bit of excitement and magic to the every day. I’m obsessed with the color palette – a deep, warm, dark academia-inspired pieces. I love the flow of the skirts, everything has movement without being frumpy, weighed down.

    Please see below for the capsule wardrobe:

    I think my favoite look is #4 – the open blouse with brown trousers – I love the shape of the blouse!

    Enjoy!

  • original poem – the approaching hour

    bursts of false memories

    find my early night

    swirling within

    stilling and heightening,

    reminding before

    striking 

    nothing entirely

    unfrightening, 

    no way

    out of this mess

    trapped for certain

    endless opportunities

    of absolutely nothing 

    just another

    7 to 8 hours 

    entangled, all around

    the binding pressing

    and crushing 

    just as much 

    collapsing 

    while spiraling

    into mindless 

    hectics

  • Inspirational Aesthetic: Lanternheart Bohemia

    Good afternoon lovelies!!

    I wanted to share a fun aesthetic I created called “Lanternheart Bohemia” – it’s meant to be a fun, whimsical aesthetic that reminds me of sleepy days at a snowy cafe. That perfect rare day with nothing to figure out and no battles to fight, the type of day that we all way to last.

    Below is the capsule wardrobe filled with soft layers and antique details.

    Enjoy!!

  • Recharging Our Weary Souls

    Everyone I know is feeling it, really going through it. We are all just swamped from all of the demands of life.

    Every simple task that I try to complete somehow leaves me with 2 or 3 more items on my list and I can never seem to get ahead. Something is always wrong, something is always broken, something is always just…needed.

    I can’t seem to get myself out of my own life and can’t find the time to just soak in the world around me. If a take a moment to do so, there is often a pile of tasks waiting for me when I get back.

    I just want to run away from it all but I’ve got too many responsibilities. And nothing I seem to do to improve my life actually makes a difference. I hope that it does one day but for now, every day is an endless grind of obligations and demands.

    No matter how many times I say no, there is more and more just waiting. And saying no just seems to take the life out of me because I have to do it so many times. When will life be my own again? When can I get back to living?

    My hope is that this blog will become a place for fellow weary souls just to recharge. I’ve begun incorporating micro changes and rituals to my every day. I’m still not sure how to protect our souls from the brutal world but I can say that I’m on the path to uncovering it and there are small ways we can rebuild our souls.

    Yet, when regarding our souls I tend to think more of the word “recharge” which implies that it is never fully complete. Ideally, something that is being built will one day be “done” before the maintenance phase begins. Recharging our souls will never be something that can ever be done – because the moment we “figure it out” there will be something new to “mess it all up.”

    At this point, all we can “build” is a safe place of support that we can “recharge” ourselves every day. I can say for certain that our souls require daily care and nourishment but it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive.

    Recharging our souls can be as simple as a hot cup of tea or picking out a fun outfit but it is so much more. Recharging our souls means showing up for ourselves and truly healing our deepest needs. True healing means actually addressing the root problem – which I think we know what it is many of times but we are understandably, too worn, weary to take on. But not taking care of our needs doesn’t make them go away – denying ourselves true healing we need just makes us less capable of taking on the never ending challenges of life.

    We owe it to ourselves and our souls – we deserve our lived back.

    So this blog is a quest to uncover all of the ways in which we charge our souls every day. It might be thoughts, practices, DIYs, recipes, guides, or just plain inspirational quotes, aesthetic images.

    Everything helps and everything can heal (or harm us). We just have to show up for ourselves every day and allow ourselves the fulfillment we so desperately crave.

  • 5 Reasons to Start

    I completely understand how stressful it is to start your next project – I suffer from extreme anxiety and often have to encourage myself for days, weeks, months and more to try.

    I believe it stems from a fear of failure – which is ridiculous because I only know failure! But it’s like I keep hoping that each time will be better, and it isn’t…which makes we worried that it will always be this way. It’s odd, because you can grasp a sliver of success through continuous failure.

    For the past several months I have been doing nothing but planning and wishing. Despite all of my best efforts those plans have yielded absolutely nothing.

    I keep thinking that I need more time but then time just slips away faster and faster.

    Time is the largest instigator for me right now. I was scrolling online after a particularly stressful day, and I saw a picture that said, “Less than 6 months until 2024” and I just about suffered a panic attack. My chest began to tighten, and a sense of nausea washed over me.

    What bothered me the most is that I had tried so hard (from my perspective – I get that planning means nothing) and what I thought was one or two months amounted to over six months. I reflected back to December and how motivated I was to do things “differently” this year and the year is already half gone and I’m just getting older…anxiety.

    So, I started a few days ago…I just started everything – my resolutions, my writing, my art, house projects. Everything that needs to get done I just picked it up.

    Time will never freeze.

    Below are 5 reasons to hopefully help inspire you to begin any new or existing projects:

    1. Action eases anxiety. I don’t know if there is a cure for anxiety but if there is, I believe it comes from a combination of solutions. One really positive approach comes from taking action. So instead of thinking about how much there is to do and how stressful it will be – think about how many opportunities there are to lower stress.
    2. It often requires less time/effort. While there doesn’t seem to be any decrease in the number of tasks that sail my way – what I often forget is how little time many of them require. Just this week, I was dreading a bit of research. When I finally started it – I was pleasantly surprised that it took a fraction of what I expected, and I spent much more time worrying about having to do it. What a waste.
    3. Starting keeps you out of your head. I am one of those people that can’t be left to her own thoughts – nothing good seems to come from a decent moment to ponder. What I often forget is how good it feels to be working with my hands (even if it’s to type on a keyboard) and just avoid any toxic thoughts.
    4. You might be holding onto something you don’t like. What I mean by this is when you hold off starting a project, you hold off starting something that you might end up hating. This comes from my book club where we have actively read a few books this year. Most books I have wanted to read for years. Yet some of these reads have been incredible disappointments – that I never knew I was going to dislike. I literally looked forward to something for years that I ended up hating and that really hits.
    5. You never know who is watching. Your new beginning might end up being a really positive motivator for someone in your life. You just never know who can learn and be inspired.

    I hope that this is your week to begin. It doesn’t take as much as you think to get rolling.

  • Nature walk in the not so brown desert

    When most folks think of the desert – they typically imagine a sea of sand dunes or a brown patch of dust. There can’t be that much to a place that hardly rains, right?

    I love dispelling this conception – the desert can actually be full of color, beauty and diverse plants and animals. There is so much inspiration and calmness that you can find just a short walk from civilization.

    Nature is ready to heal us – it only takes a few minutes to joyfully abandon human existence and find some nourishment in the silence and life. There is nothing for you to buy, there is nothing to get or take (aside from pictures).

    I met up with a friend and took a hike at a nearby trail. It was about 20 minutes from my place (very much in civilization) and yet the hum and honks of town quickly fell away.

    Come along for a walk with me…

    This almost reminds me of a forest with the slumped branch. There are cactus around but there are so many other plants.

    You find a lot of black trees and cactus, often a lone black slump. I’m not so sure if its lightening, aliens, or people that are burning these plants (and how come nothing else burns?).

    Thankfully, it was cool enough to keep the water droplets from quickly evaporating (60°F). The chunky clouds coated the sky and blocked the sun. Usually, it would be much too warm to hike this late in the morning (around 10am) but we were able to thanks to the cloudy day. I’m just fascinated by the way the drops plump and hold onto the leaves.

    I’m not sure if those are Joshua Trees but it reminds me of fuzzy coral. I love the different shades of green that you find in these pictures.

    There were a few cactus carcasses along the way.

    Thankfully, the only wildlife we saw were jackrabbits and horses (participating in a race).

    I’m often in awe of the way that nature knows how to choose and blend the most beautiful assortment of color combinations. She makes it look effortless and enjoyable!